The Internet basically shat itself today as word spread of the New York Times’ controversial food article proposing that hapless guacamole-makers add peas — yes, peas — to their avocado dip.
— The New York Times (@nytimes) July 1, 2015
Now, there are a lot of ways to make guacamole. You can use a mix or not (please don’t), and we can argue ’til the guacamole goes brown over what kinds of onions, peppers, spices, or citrus juice to add. But peas? We’ll let the Internet handle this one:
@nytimes please delete this
— Lindsey Adler (@Lahlahlindsey) July 1, 2015
@nytimes actually ISIS
— Sara Yasin (@missyasin) July 1, 2015
— Erik (@ThatGuyEdub) July 1, 2015
Users lambasted the idea as everything from “the whitest tweet ever” to “gringo nonsense.” The Los Angeles Times, much closer to the guacamole capital of the world, shot back with a snarky post (and then, bizarrely, included a pea-guac recipe of its own).
At one point, the NYT even started making fun of itself:
— NYT Sports (@NYTSports) July 1, 2015
Eventually, as the debacle (deguacle?) spiraled out of control, someone took charge — the motherfucking LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD, who had this to say:
respect the nyt, but not buying peas in guac. onions, garlic, hot peppers. classic. https://t.co/MEEI8QHH1V
— President Obama (@POTUS) July 1, 2015
Okay, eyes back up front, please. We like the New York Times. Yes, it’s sometimes elitist and out-of-touch, but we’re also not drooling conspiracy theorists who think the mainstream media is in cahoots with the Illuminati or the New World Order or — the worst of the worst — Time Warner Cable. Still, this article led to some serious soul-searching. The biggest question in our minds was: Should we quit our complaining and actually try it?
No. Of course not. Because peas do not belong in guacamole. If you really need to mix things up, try our pomegranate tequila guac. Not only is it delicious, but it’s got something else going for it: no peas.