Culture The Dos And Don’ts Of New Year’s Eve

| Friday, 27 December 2013 10:00

nyethumbSimilar to St. Patrick’s Day, New Year’s Eve is easily one of the most alcohol-fueled holidays on the calendar. Unlike St. Patrick’s Day, New Year’s Eve has the distinction of being preceded by the most massive gift-giving holiday of the year, where one of the gifts that ranks highest on the popularity charts is booze. Recipe for disaster? Only if you let it be. Luckily, we like you and want to you to succeed in life, so here are the Dos and Don’ts to get you through five crucial New Year’s Eve situations. Read while sober.

Choosing A Party

Do – Do leave yourself open to attending multiple parties without making promises to stay anchored to one for the entire night. You never know if the bash you choose is going to work out or not, so it’s wisest to allow room for the often-necessary duck-out. Just remember you can change venues all you want, you just need to time it right not to get screwed.

Don’t – Don’t make your move at the wrong time. If in doubt, just use the 11-1 rule. Stay put after 11 because traffic is bound to be a bitch and you just might end up spending the stroke-of-midnight in a cab with a very un-festive cabbie. Don’t leave before 1 because it’s just kind of rude and you might as well stay for a few drinks at that point anyways. Besides, the good parties don’t get going until 3 anyways.


Do – Do get drunk. You might as well, it’s New Year’s. By drunk however, we mean fun drunk. The drunk where you feel all warm and happy inside. The kind of drunk where you’re convinced you’ve become like a more entertaining and charismatic version of yourself bound to be loved by all. Who knows, it might even be true.

Don’t – Don’t go overboard. New Year’s Eve partying is a marathon, not a sprint and it’s your job to cross the finish line without puking on it. You also don’t want to be the person who gets so tanked before midnight that they leave 3 and 7 out of the countdown and shout “Rappy New Ears!” two full seconds before everyone else. Not to mention it’s never fun to spend the first day of whatever year it’s become being treated to a recap of what you ate on the last day of whatever year it just was.

The Midnight Kiss

Do – Do try to find someone to plant a midnight kiss on if you’re not already there with your significant other. Keep in mind this doesn’t have to be a full-tongue hands-in-the-hair I-just-got-back-from-war kind of kiss. A friendly peck will do fine. Studies have shown that people that get kissed at midnight New Year’s Eve are 72% more optimistic about the upcoming year.

Don’t – Don’t force a romantic kiss out of desperation, or worse, liquor-induced desperation. That’s how cousin-kissing happens. Plus, the drunken hook-ups are supposed to happen around 4, not midnight. If you’re really worried about being the odd one out, just play some cell phone Tetris in the toilet, it’ll all be over soon.

Phone Calls

Do – Do grab your cell phone after midnight and make some calls to pass on your New Year’s well wishes. It’s always nice to be able to say a quick hello to the people you didn’t get to hang out with. Plus, at the very least it’s entertaining to make and receive drunken uber-happy phone calls from close friends.

Don’t – Don’t start reminiscing, wind up getting all sentimental and drunk-dialing your ex. The new year will be full of countless opportunities to make embarrassing and socially awkward mistakes, you don’t need to have your first one ten minutes in. Pace yourself.

New Year’s Resolutions

Do – Do make a New Year’s resolution, but do it with a twist. Instead of resolving to change a bad habit, resolve to do something fun you’ve always wanted to, i.e. “In 2010 I’m going to ride in a Bobsled!” or, “In 2010 I’m going to become a fire-juggler!”

Don’t – Don’t undertake a resolution that you’re bound to fail at. And for God sake’s if you are trying to change some habit, don’t ruin your fun by starting at the stroke of midnight. Resolutions aren’t actually supposed to kick in until your hangover wears off.


Give Us Some Lurve