For vegetarians who recoil at the thought of putting a corpse inside of a corpse inside of a corpse, rejoice! Behold the cherpumple — a dessert version of the turducken.
The name “cherpumple” is a portmanteau — kind of a word gangbang — of the three different pies found in it: cherry, pumpkin, and apple. The pies are then BAKED INTO CAKES, stacked into a Babylonian tower of calories, and covered in whipped cream. Fruit is then added on top, probably because it’s more visually appealing than bacon.
If you’re willing to make this for your friends or loved ones, drive a hard bargain. We expect the cherpumple to soon be recognized widely as payment for the fulfillment of most sexual fantasies. Get baking:
• 8″ apple pie
• 8″ pumpkin pie
• 8″ cherry pie
• chocolate cake batter
• vanilla cake batter
• 6 cups whipping cream
• fruit for garnish (kiwi, strawberry, raspberry, blueberry)
• * 1/2 cup icing sugar (optional)
1. Prepare pies, and cake batter
2. Grease 9″ cake pans and preheat oven to 350F.
3. Place a cup or two of vanilla cake batter in the bottom of the 9″ prepared cake pan. Place apple pie on top of batter. Cover entire pie in cake batter. Repeat using vanilla cake batter and the pumpkin pie.
4. Using chocolate cake batter, place a cup or two of cake batter in the bottom of the 9″ prepared cake pan. Place cherry pie on top of batter. Cover entire pie in cake batter.
5. Place cakes into the oven for 70-80 minutes or until cakes are baked completely.
6. Once cakes are baked, allow them to cool completely.
7. Whip cream by placing cream in a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, and whipping until stiff. If additional sweetness, or stability is desired add 1/4-1/2 cup of icing sugar to the cream once stiff.
8. Decorated using a piping bag and tip as desired.
9. Place fruit in a decorative pattern along the bottom border, and on the top of the cake.
10. Slice and serve when ready. This can be stored in the fridge for 2-3 days.
If you’re the kind of person who likes your food porn on video, feast your eyes on this:
A tip o’ the gut does to Cookies Cupcakes and Cardio. We’d hug you, but we can’t get off the couch.