This recipe is dedicated to Sebastian the crab. Yes, the one from The Little Mermaid. The scene where the cook is trying to stuff him for dinner is one that has stuck with my nightmares long past my adolescence. But since eating human hasn’t been approved yet, artichoke hearts make a pretty convincing substitute. Fry up these puppies, and don’t hold back imagining what it’d be like living under the sea while you’re at it.
Tartar Sauce (optional):
⅔ cup mayonnaise (I used vegan)
3 teaspoons horseradish
1/2 lemon, juiced
1 tsp concentrated dill (the type in the tube)
2 cups marinated artichoke hearts
1 small shallot, finely chopped
2 stalks celery, finely chopped
2 tablespoons liquid from marinated artichokes
1/2 lemon, juiced
½ cup chickpea flour (also called garbanzo flour)
2 tsp coconut sugar
1 teaspoon fish seasoning (think Old Bay – I used Whole Foods “San Fran Bay”)
1/2 cup chickpea flour
2 cups multigrain bread crumbs (I used gluten free)
½ cup milk (I used almond)
Grape-seed oil (for frying)
To make the sauce: mix mayonnaise, horseradish, lemon juice, and desired amount of pepper in a small bowl with a fork. Once combined, allow to cool in the fridge while you make your cakes.
To make cakes: Set aside 2 tablespoons of liquid from your marinated artichokes. Then, drain artichokes and finely chop, adding to a big mixing bowl. To the artichokes, add the list of cradles cake ingredients and mash together.
Next, set up your crabless cake dredging station. In three dishes, set out chickpea flour, bread crumbs, and milk. Then, add grape-seed oil to a large pan, and heat over medium-high.
Take a heaped tablespoon of crabless cake mix, and roll to form a patty in your hands. Start by rolling the patty in chickpea flour to coat. Then, quickly dunk in milk and remove, finishing it by rolling it in bread crumbs. Fry the cakes leaving enough space in the pan to flip, I did four or five at a time. Cook for around three minutes per side, you’re looking for a nice brown crust.
Continue to roll, coat, and fry until out of cakes, adding more flour and breadcrumbs as needed along the way. Allow the cakes to rest on some paper towel, so some of the oil soaks up.
When ready to serve, grab your tartar sauce and top or dip! I threw some chives and fresh lemon juice on top too, because why not.
I’m not sure why Sebastian had a Jamaican accent, but I think his comedic value will be forever be worth more than his meat. Try making these – they won over my seafood loving family.
Thanks to Hot for Food for this dish!