Culture Much Ado About Cat Anus

| Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:32

Cats. Cats cats cats. The interwebz loves ’em, but until now there’s been one feline facet that’s gone un-memed: their buttholes. Get ready, because that’s about to change.

Twinkle Tush is the final step in converting the small animal that lives in your home into a cutesy, glittery, Instagrammable life accessory. It’s just the thing if you or your loved ones are offended by your kitty’s brown starfish. (Unless they watch porn, in which case the Twinkle Tush is disturbingly reminiscent of this butt plug. Speaking of butt plugs…)

For the reasonable — nay, irresistible — price of just $5.99 plus a buck for shipping, you too can bedazzle your cat’s butthole to the amusement (horror?) of friends, neighbors, social media followers, or creepers on Tinder who ask to see a picture of your pussy. “See what I did there?” you’ll ask. “What the fuck is that?!” they’ll reply. Golden.

Twinkle Tush isn’t the only player in the game. No, it’s a veritable capitalistic battlefield out there when it comes to Fluffy’s anal accessorizing. Over at Etsy, RearGear has a line of bum covers that come in styles ranging from cupcakes to a pair of fuzzy dice. Not a cat person? RearGear caters to Fido, too:

reargear3

We know what you’re wondering. Nadia, do you sell these life-changing inventions in your store?! The answer, squibblebots, is no. But we do have a spoon to stir your soup or cup your nuts.

That Twinkle Tush jingle, though…

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