Culture Is it Bitchin’? Forkchops

| Monday, 5 November 2012 16:59

Eating with one’s hands is deemed barbaric by society (outside of historic recreations of course). As such, I find myself running in to the nearest coffee shop or grocery store in search of cutlery far too often. I’m forced to sneak around customers and shopping carts, sleuthing my way below cameras and countertops to snatch up the plastic contraptions necessary for devouring my foods.


But even after all the raccoon like effort, I’m usually left with the wrong utensil or even worse, broken points, warped shafts and dull blades. Not to mention the guilt of being a petty criminal. Why couldn’t the Forkchops have been created before I built up a criminal record?

This 3-in-1 eating utensil is a gift from the foodie gods. Now, no matter where you are and no matter what you’re served, you can be sure you’ll have a way of getting it in to your mouth. That is unless you’re eating soup. Sorry spoons, this is a fork, knife and chopstick party exclusively.

It’s reusable and dishwasher safe, so don’t be afraid to whip ‘em out at any occasion. We can’t imagine coworkers or public commuters being any less than completely amazed that you have your own weapons of mass consumption. They’ll be jealous by the way you’re able to mindfully mow down, secure in your utensil abilities. We can’t promise any less burns, bites or garlic breathe though.

If you’re a serial picnic haver, eat on the go-er or suffer from utensil attention deficit disorder (U-ADD), the $5.99 you’ll spend on this gizmo will be well worth the end of your suffering. Or maybe you’re just like me, and don’t have room to carry your own knife, fork and chopsticks at all times. Purse real estate isn’t cheap my friends.

So newrds, what do you think? Will you continue asking for utensils for your take out or will you purchase this revolution in cutlery?

By: Eva Severed

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