Just the other day, I read that the majority of breakups face their end between January and March. Blame it on needing back up around the holidays, cupid’s adorable pressure or the fact that it’s easier to stay home in the winter than bundle up and go out, but we’re sure more than one of you could use a reminder that you’re not alone. Put a stop to the depressing Facebook updates and listen.
Whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee, grieving is a part of the process. There are a whole bunch of “rules” floating around that try to dictate how long it’s normal to be sad, but I’ve grieved over television series longer than some relationships. One tradition that shouldn’t be overlooked however, is ice cream. For serious hurt, a pint per year spent with someone is acceptable. If the whole shebang was over in a hot minute, keep it to a cone or two. And I give you full permission to listen to Adele on repeat. Just try your best not to break down when “Someone Like You” plays in a public place, although there will likely be several other people sobbing too.
-Try to remain active (exercise = endorphins)
-Avoid contact with the ex, their family and their friends
-Hide all their traces away in a box
Learn to Forgive
Once you’ve had enough whining to your friends and the ice cream has made you worry about whether you’ll be able to land someone new with a few extra pounds on, it’s time to cut the blame game and open yourself up to forgiveness. First and foremost, let go of anything you’ve done that feels like a mistake. Remember that everything has brought you to this point, good, bad or indifferent. Being thankful for what you had, what you have and what you will have again can put things in to perspective. Hatred, grudges and tweeting passive aggressive song lyrics only hurt yourself. As for forgiving whoever has laid this hurt down on yah, use your discretion. Just remember that unless you’re hating them to their face, that anger is really only polluting you.
-Start a gratitude journal (write down things you’re happy to have)
-When you have to think about your ex, think positive thoughts
-Focus the love you feel on others
Fall In Love With Someone New – Yourself
This hardly ever means drinking to the point of blackout, hanging out with questionable people or making rash new hair style decisions. Remember all those things you loved to do with your ex? Well, Breaking Bad, candlelit dinners and fighting over bills still exist in your new life. Now you just have the time and money to spoil yourself a little more often, and without abandon. Travel or take up a new hobby just because you can. Reflection, meditation and those photos with motivational quotes on them can be really useful for some and still painfully annoying to others. Basically, test the waters. You can reinvent yourself a little, a lot or stay the course. As long as you’re finding ways to keep smiling, you’re doing good, kid.
-Remind yourself why you’re a catch
-Say “yes” to things you wouldn’t normally, more often
-Trust the universe every now and then
When binge eating, romance movies and wild nights out are tampering with your normalcy more than the break up ever did, it’s time to reevaluate and head down a new path. This is the part where you give yourself a big hug, remember that everything will be okay, and get back to being your bitchin’ self.
By: Eva Severed