Full disclosure: we think Gefilte Fish is often pretty damn bland. We know it's a nostalgic meal and a Passover staple, but come on people, it's bland! Luckily, Nadia G's been working hard to makeover this wallflower of a dish, Bitchin' Kitchen style. Let's get started!
Fish Stock
Heat olive oil in a saucepan on medium. Sauté carrots and celery for 8 minutes. Deglaze the pan with a big splash of white wine. Add the bones and heads of 2 fish, cover with water. Add herbs, spices, salt and sugar. Cover and let simmer on med-high heat for 1-2 hours. Remember to remove the scum. Taste the broth, feel free to add more salt, sugar or spices to suit your palate.
Fish Dumplings
Gefilte Fish is generally made with a mixture of Pike and Carp. But we’re going to go with Alaskan Halibut. Halibut is often used in Gefilte Fish recipes from Alaska – home of the chosen frozen.
Cut Halibut fillets into chunks, throw them in the food processor and set aside. Now fry up a large Spanish onion on med-high heat until it starts to brown and caramelize, about 15 minutes. Add the onion to the food processor and blend the fish to a fine consistency.
The next step is to spice up some matzoh meal. Add finely chopped parsley, paprika, sea salt and pepper. Add the mashed Halibut and eggs. Mix, and roll into balls. If the mixture is too runny, add more matzoh meal. Throw these suckers into your simmering fish broth, along with a carrot. Let this simmer for another 20 minutes on med-low heat.
Remove the fish dumplings and the carrot from the broth and set aside. Strain the fish broth through a cheese cloth. Add 2 dumplings to a bowl, pour a bit of our savory broth over top, add a few sliced carrots, sprinkle with some fresh dill, chives and parsley, and serve with a pickled horseradish on the side. If you like your Gefilte fish cold, refrigerate the dumplings along with the broth overnight
Suggested variation: Turn your fish dumplings Thai! To the fish stock add: coconut milk, lemongrass, Thai chilies, Kaffir lime leaves, grated ginger and Thai basil. Pour in a dash of fish sauce, garnish with lots of fresh cilantro, and you’re good to go!
We bet you didn't know that "Stressed" is "Desserts" spelled backwards. That's all the intro you need, baby. Now go buy some whipping cream.
Spicy Sauce
In a food processor, combine 1 cup fresh raspberries, chili pepper (chopped, with stem removed), and 1 heaping tablespoon brown sugar (or to taste). Puree and set aside.
Cream
In a clean food processor cup, combine whipping cream, dark rum, 1 tablespoon brown sugar, and the seeds of ½ a vanilla bean. Whip until peaks form.
Walnuts
Put 1 cup toasted walnuts in a ziplock bag. Place the bag on your cutting board and roughly smash them with a can or something. Don’t pulverize—we want chunks. Toast in a frying pan on med-high heat for 5-10 minutes, until they become fragrant. Place crumbled walnuts in a mixing bowl and add honey and a pinch of sea salt. Mix well.
Shkiaffinng it Together
To a large martina glass add 1 tablespoon walnut-honey mixture and press down to settle. Then add a layer of fresh raspberries., a tablespoon of the spicy raspberry puree, and a layer of whipped cream. Repeat layers until the glass is full and top it off with a sprig of fresh mint.
Be forewarned: these cookies are so rich and buttery they may induce a heart attack, or at least give your arteries a run for their money. I like to think that the health risk posed by the pastry is offset by the antioxidants in the filling of dark chocolate and blackberries. Whatever the nutritional content, they taste damn good.
Not only are our Black Heart cookies delicious, but their bittersweet center makes them the perfect dump-em dessert to follow up on our Splittsville Salad.
Cream butter and sugar together until just mixed. Add the pure vanilla. In a second bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. Add them to the creamed sugar and butter mixture. Mix on low speed until the dough starts to come together nicely. Place mixture onto a surface dusted with flour and shape into a flat disk. Wrap in plastic and chill for 30 minutes.
Place blackberries in a saucepan and cook on med-low until berries break down and reduce down into a jam-like texture. While they are reducing, and dough is chilling, melt chocolate over a double boiler. Once chocolate is melted, mix it into the blackberry reduction.
Remove dough from fridge and roll out on a surface dusted with flour. Use a large heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut all of the dough into hearts. Use a smaller heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut holes out of half the larger hearts. Onto the large hearts, spread the blackberry-chocolate mixture. Place a heart outline snugly on top of each one. Place cookies on an ungreased cookie sheet and chill for 10-20 minutes. Bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes.
You can also bake the cut-out hearts by themselves after and top them with any leftover chocolate blackberry mixture.
Adapted from Ina Garten's recipe for Mini Linzer Cookies.
- Dallas Curow
Salad is the perfect start for a break-up meal because it's light. Heavy dishes make us lethargic. "One more night" turns into a week, a week into a year, and before you know it you've got three beta rugrats screeching for their Ritalin Rigatoni, and you've lost control of your life and the remote—not good.
For the pesto: toast pine nuts in a pan over med-high heat for 5-10 minutes (until they become fragrant). Toss them into the food processor with the basil, garlic, parmigianno regiano cheese. Slowly stream in 1/4 cup of good extra virgin olive oil. Blend until smooth.
In a big bowl, mix mesclun lettuce with pesto. Set aside
In a pan, reduce the balsamic vinegar with a pinch of brown sugar until it looks syrupy and sticks to your spoon.
Place the salad in Asian take-out cartons, which whisper: "I'm playful... now get the fuck out." Top with figs, slices of toasted baguette smothered in goat cheese, and drizzle with the balsamic reduction.
Enjoy!
Preheat oven to 425° F.Rinse 4 cups of brussels sprounts, shave the stems, and remove the outer leaves. Then cut the brussels sprouts in halves.Drop sliced brussels sprouts into a large, shallow baking dish. Drizzle with 3 tablespoons of olive oil and add a big pinch of kosher salt and some freshly-cracked pepper. Mix with your hands to coat and arrange in a single layer in the pan.Pop brussels sprouts in the oven for 25 minutes.Remove the brussels sprouts from the oven, add minced garlic, and stir.Return brussels sprouts to the oven for another 10 to 15 minutes (until fork-tender).