If you’re wondering why we chose this week’s candidate, you may not have the keen sense of style you think you do.

At first glance, the caring crew at Bitchin’ Lifestyle thought this man might be down on his luck and strapped for cash, so we offered to spare some change. Alas, this was not the case. Beneath the fried purple hair, the navy trench coat, and the distressed grey jeans were... a pair of Nike runners (taken off, we assume, for the purposes of his meditation). Not the dishevelled kind of second-hand Nikes either. We’re talking a new pair of Nike Air Zoom FC Shoes. Unless this man gathered up $100 in dimes and quarters, we’d say he’s doing okay for himself. We also later saw him climb into his car and drive off...

Which brings us to the important stuff: WTFRU Wearing, Sir?!

Washed out purple hair teased up into triangular peaks? If the goal was to channel Krusty The Clown, consider this a triumphant mission accomplished… Except that the look worked for him because he was, you know, a clown. You’re just some guy – maybe it’s time to tone it down a little bit.

The next order of business to attend to is that multi-coloured children’s scarf wrapped around his neck. Why does he have it? It’s certainly not keeping him warm, and we can only assume that its only function is to cut off the circulation to his brain.

There are also a couple of other fashion accessories we didn’t quite understand. For one - the brown twine wrapped around his hand topped with a pink piece of yarn. We would have asked him what it symbolized, but feared for our safety. We kept at bay regardless, in case we disrupted his ‘quiet time’ with our uncontrollable giggling.

At the very least, he never leaves the house without a good manicure & pedicure, huh? Note to the world: if you have foot fungus, blackened toenails, or all-around fugly feet, please, do not spread your infectious disease by unleashing those bad-boys on public property. Just keep them in your expensive-ass Nikes, thank you very much.

While we do wish we could help all those in need of fashion consultation, we can’t. Our lives are much too busy and we still need material for our features.

Citizens beware: The Bitchin’ Lifestyle Crew has got their eyes (and their cameras) on you! Be sure to wear your Sunday best every day, or you might be next. We're also taking submissions, so be sure to send in your photos!