LuvemOrLeavem: I came up with the idea after I mentioned to a friend that it would be great if our friends would leave their loser boyfriends if we took a vote and the majority voted “leave him.” I knew I had to turn this idea into a reality. Even if we couldn’t make the women leave, at least we could vote for it.
AP: Do you think women are open to taking advice from people they don’t know?
LOL: Women are very open to hearing the advice because the women giving advice have been in similar situations and speak from the heart about what they went through. I receive many thank-yous from women who feel that they’ve received great advice. Of course, I have no way of knowing if they actually act on it.
AP: What do you think is the biggest problem women have when trying to find Mr. Right?
LOL: The biggest problem is that women take way to long to get rid of a guy who is not right for them. You can’t meet Mr. Right if Mr. Wrong is with you every time you go out.
AP: It seems Mr. Wrong makes a constant appearance in every woman’s life, what’s the allure? Why do women always fall for the ‘bad boy’?
LOL: Women underestimate the nice guys. They think that they are pushovers, so instead they go for the guys that seem confident, not realizing that these bad boys are arrogant, not confident. Eventually, most women come to their senses and realize that nice does not equal boring.
AP: Hypothetical situation 1: ‘Getrude’ just graduated University and has been dating her stud muffin for 4 years. She’s expecting a ring but it doesn’t seem like her boyfriend is interested in talking about it. He still lives at home and hasn’t found a job yet. Luvem Or Leavem?
LOL: Leave’em! If she’s thinking ring and he doesn’t even have a job, then they are at two very different places in their lives.
AP: When it comes time to leaving ‘em, why do you think women have such a hard time letting go? Are we suckers for punishment?
LOL: Women focus on the details and not the big picture. If a man doesn’t treat them well they want to delve into the details of why the man is behaving this way and then try to “fix” the man. The big picture is that he doesn’t treat them well, and it really doesn’t matter why.
AP: What’s the weirdest dilemma ever discussed on the site?
LOL: We once had a woman who posted that her sister’s boyfriend confessed to her that he only dated her sister to get close to her. He then proceeded to ask her what she thought of him and assured her that all she had to do was give him the word and he would dump the sister. They both left him!
AP: Hypothetical Situation 2: Erin was on her boyfriend’s computer. She accidently deleted a document and went through his trash. In it she found a naked picture of his ex-girl. They’ve been broken up for nine months and the picture was deleted 3 days ago. Does she confront him or leave it alone?
LOL: Leave it alone. He did delete the picture and to confront him is to look like she was snooping. No good can come from that.
AP: Last week our theme was ‘How to lock down a Lover’. This week it’s 'Valentine’s Day.' In your opinion, what’s the best way to seal the deal with a potential partner who’s having a little trouble committing?
LOL: This is a tough one. I would definitely say no begging and pleading. If anything, see less of him and if you’re brave enough to lay it all on the line, suggest that you’d like to date other men since this relationship doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. This tactic allows you to keep your self-respect while finding out where you stand. If he’s just slow to commit, it will get you a proposal. If he says, “Great, let’s date other people,” at least you’ll know where you stand.
Many thanks to Tina Tobin. Be sure to check out LuvemOrLeavem.com.