Instead – like a big jerk – I told her the teams would enter into something called “Sudden Death Armageddon”. SDA, I explained, consisted of the field being cleared of all players except the quarterbacks. They were each given a football, and starting from their respective end zones, charged at each other until they collided around the fifty-yard line. Whichever quarterback dropped the ball – their team lost. If neither dropped the ball, they did it again. What a strange and fascinating sport, this football.

I figured the jig would be up when the game actually went to overtime and they just played another fifteen minutes, but the Colts kicked a last-second field goal and that never happened. Then I got distracted by something shiny and forgot to tell her I had been bullshitting the whole time. Boy was she mad when she tried discussing the pros and cons of Sudden Death Armageddon in the NFL at work and had a bunch of people laugh in her face.

Rather than tell me that had happened, she kept quiet about it and took her revenge a week later by pantsing me very publicly at a friend’s birthday party and yelling, “Sudden Death Armageddon!!!” in my face before running off. Told you she was awesome.

The moral of the story is that love can be expressed in many different ways. For some people, love is a singing telegram, a bouquet of flowers, a box of candy and a $17 Hallmark card. For others, like us, love is messing with each other in personally entertaining and mildly cruel ways. It’s how we let each other know we care.

On that note, for your enjoyment in this, the season of love, here are six clips of couples who realized life is just too short – and Hallmark cards way too expensive – and decided to tell each other how much they cared with some good old-fashioned amorous torment. The last girl even accepts a wedding proposal after her man dumps a pot of green sludge on her head. Not to be missed.

The Old Water-On-The-Ceiling Prank

Slippery Butter On The Bathroom Floor = Brutal Wipeout

Gun Prank On Unsuspecting Wife

Double Prank On Sleeping Boyfriend

Severed Head Next To Girlfriend In Bed

Worst Marriage Proposal In The History Of Romance

Now that's love...