Guy’s Complaint – Crazy Make-Up

This is apparently a pretty major issue for men, as 7 out of 10 of the guys interviewed listed it in their Top 3. According to them, there are very few excuses for a girl really caking on the make-up. The general consensus being that unless the girl has a skin disease or was relocated as part of a witness protection program, less is always more.

The main complaint was that plenty of girls who were already naturally attractive were managing to kill that fresh-faced vibe by going overkill on the ol’ eyeliner and blush brush. While a subtle application can highlight features and compliment looks, too much will just make it seem like you have some kind of…face problem…unless you do…in which case, carry on.

Best Example: Shawn

“I was out at a club and my date left for a second to go to the washroom. When she came back, she snuck up on me, pressed her face into my back and gave me a big hug from behind. Later a friend told me I had a creepy imprint of a pastel face hovering just below my collar.”

Gal’s Complaint – Crazy Muscles

6 out of 10 ladies listed “too muscular” in their top 3 turn offs. Maybe this can be blamed on the recession, but it seems like everyone’s downsizing these days. All the women agreed that nice, lean muscle is sexiest, but guys who overdo it start to look grotesque. Too big is awkward and a little scary, and while the guys think their freakishly veiny biceps are wooing the opposite sex, all the women can hear is, “Hulk…date?”

Much like make-up, this is another instance in which less is more, and where you can’t always count on your friends to keep you from going too far. A girl suggesting her friend make one more pass with the eye-shadow is like a guy’s spotter-buddy at the gym testoster-shaming him into pumping out 10 more unnecessary reps.

Best Example: Jess

“I saw a guy at the gas station with bigger boobs than me. I’m a D-cup. He looked all swollen and disproportioned with this tiny little head, kinda like that girl that turned into a blueberry in Charlie and the Chocolate factory. It just looked sad, which I’m sure wasn’t what he was going for. Plus, I’ve seen even worse.”

Guy’s Complaint – Babydoll/Bubble Dresses

It should be noted that only one of the guys that mentioned these actually knew what they were called. The rest just referred to them as “Bag” or “Crappy Sack” dresses. The problem the guys seemed to have with these is that they basically mask all of a woman’s curves. The men were also awestruck with the fact almost anytime a girl wore a bubble dress, other girls inevitably complimented her on it.

Best Example: DJ

“My girlfriend at the time became a fitness nut and decided that she wanted to go for the toned look. She worked out and ate well for three months and ended up looking amazing. No sooner had she reached her goal, then she went out and bought one of these dresses and made like, 80% of her torso just look like a big cloud. She worked her butt off and then basically wore a sack because her friend told her it looked cute.

Gal’s Complaint – Sandals

Here’s a shocker, guys – Women don’t want to see your gnarled feet. While it was unanimously agreed that sandals at the beach are always appropriate, it was also unanimously agreed that sandals anywhere else were pretty inappropriate, and a major turn-off at that. I know they’re comfortable and make you feel laid back, but women look at sandals and think “surfer bum”, except you probably don’t even live near the ocean, meaning you’re a “poser surfer bum”, which is even worse.

Best Example: Gen

“A guy I was meeting for lunch rolled up wearing sandals. I could smell his sweaty feet from under the table for the entire meal, and when we took a walk after eating, I couldn’t stop staring down at his hairy toe-knuckles. I didn’t invite him in just so he wouldn’t walk around my house with the filthy black soles of his feet.”

Guy’s Complaint – Weird Jeans

This one proved to be a real matter of taste, as jeans were brought up in a few different examples, but by most of the guys. The two major qualms turned out to be size and cut, with girls buying jeans that were too small or too high/low-waisted. Apparently, when it comes to jeans, men are surprisingly easy to please. That is, unless you’ve decided to sport a pair that creep up to your ribcage or down to the middle of your butt crack. In the guys’ opinion, the right pair of simple, well fitting blue jeans was all it took to draw their interest.

Best Example: Ross

“There’s nothing worse than being out and spotting a girl in jeans that are three sizes too small. It doesn’t even matter what a girl weighs, it’s all good as long as they wear clothes that fit and don’t squeeze half of them up over the waist-line. Also, when a girl bends over to pick something up and her entire ass falls out of her pants because they’re so low-cut it’s a little embarrassing.”

Gal’s Complaint – TIE! Open Shirts/Tapout T-Shirts

We’re listing both because this went 5 and 5, straight down the middle. The ladies would like the men to know that the Rico Suave look is out. According to them, if male chest hair was meant to be on display in clubs, manufacturers wouldn’t put buttons on dress shirts. Translation: Do up some damn buttons. No one wants to see your navel hair, you wild and crazy guys! Also, Tapout T-Shirts are everywhere these days in response to the surge in UFC popularity, but when asked to list your job, if your answer isn’t “Cage-Fighter”, the ladies don’t think you need to be wearing one.

Best Example: Marcela

“I was getting a drink at the bar when this guy walked up and started talking to me. My first impression was that he was pretty good looking, but I was having trouble dealing with his exposed mane of chest hair. I tried my best to avoid getting turned off by the hairy tuft sticking out from his shirt that was opened about halfway down. I was dealing with it though, until he leaned in to say something and one of his curly chest hairs fell off and my landed in my beer. That was the end of that.”