In the spirit of good times, I tried playing hide and seek recently with my 4-year old cousin and came to the sad realization that I just don’t fit anywhere hide-worthy anymore.
I had big plans for awesome hiding spots that all quickly evaporated the second I tried them on for size. As it turned out, other than putting a lampshade on my head and standing very still in the corner, I only fit in the closet and behind the couch – the two lamest hiding places in the history of Hide-and-go-seek. She had some really good hiding places, though. Needless to say my cousin found me each and every time, ruining Hide-and-go-seek for me, forever.
Getting Sick
We all know what getting sick used to mean, and what it means now. A cold virus or the flu once held the promise of glorious days off from school. Equipped with a box of tissues and the knowledge your friends were in social studies, you enjoyed movies, daytime television and chicken soup as you tried to gauge if you could milk it until Friday afternoon before starting to feel better.
Today a cold or the flu usually means you’re going to work anyways, like it or not, and will be regarded as a snotty mess by everyone around you. If you’re actually sick enough to have to take a day off, you’ve probably swallowed a lot of NyQuil and won’t be having very much fun anyways. Once you’re finally well enough to get back to work, catching up on the workload is enough to make you wish you were never sick in the first place.
Pigging Out On Candy
It seems that only kids can have an endless supply of Pixie Sticks, Gummy Bears, Sour Patch Kids and Nerds and experience the hyperactivity that only a sugar-high or speed can deliver. The beauty of eating candy as a kid was that the more neon colors, the better. We didn’t worry about what was in them or that we couldn’t pronounce half the ingredients - which nowadays is pretty much a red flag for ‘not good for you.'
As adults, too much candy means we get nauseous… and need a Tums. If we don’t, and can still go the sugary-distance, the result is usually hundreds of dollars in dentist bills that our parents are either unwilling or no longer around to pay.
Ball Pits
I don’t care who you are or what you do for a living, if you tell me the thought of jumping in one of those giant, endlessly colorful plastic ball pits still doesn’t appeal to you on some level, you’re full of it.
So why don’t you jump in then? Because it’s almost always socially unacceptable and you don’t want to seem like a weirdo. Also, because those plastic balls can hurt. As children, we had no fear. Today, you wouldn’t catch me dead collecting spiders, eating things off the floor, and jumping (in mid-flight) off playground swings.
The Holidays
Being a kid during the holidays was the most amazing thing, ever. All you had to do was show up and look cute. Sure, we had to endure the endless kisses and cheek-pinches from Aunt Sylvia, but once the torture was done, we had free reign to do almost anything. We got to eat without cleaning up and were eagerly encouraged to buzz off after dinner and play with the other kids. When the time came we were showered with gifts and we didn’t even have to give anyone anything in return.
This is not so with adults. Besides spending a small fortune on food and gifts, we also have to plan the dinner, cook the dinner, entertain the guests, and finally, when it’s all done, we have to clean up a mess that looks like a natural disaster has struck the kitchen. Not fun at all. In fact, it’s downright depressing, especially since most of the gifts grown-ups get aren’t nearly as fun as what we got as kids.
- Article by Justin Fragapane
- Edited by Angelique Picanco